突然好想和他有个Baby，可是一切都不止是如此而已不是吗？太多的责任，太多的负担。也许，我自己其实也是一个长不大的Baby。我们，毕竟属于不同的两个世界。

也许以后的我会有所改变，可是现在却不想离开你。只是想简简单单的留在你身边。没有婚姻，没有未来我也不介意，可能，介意的只是你的冷漠。

幸福吗？
太遥远了。

我真的不是一个好女人啊……

its been so long since a girly show captured my heart. think the last one was 27 dresses. and i remembered i actually wanted to watch it with someone again in korea. aww. bad memories man. nevermind its a nice show.. ahhh, back to hana yori dango (but the romanji sounding should be hana yori danshi!)

i think as girls, all of us at some point in time really wanted to be makino. yeah for me when i was so hot over hana yori dango years back. i didnt even notice the comic have ended at book 36. shall read it soon. nvm bout that.. i wished man like domyoji still exist but hell no. hanazawa rui dont exist too. dream on! girls that scream over f4, wake up! real man nowadays don behave like dem anymore! though i wish my guy is like domyoji too but hell no, kwon sung wook is nothing like that.
ahh its a worth watching show although the storyline is a little lame but i love it! watching it kinda makes me feel young again… *phew* back when the days i dreamt about marrying a guy like domyoji.. but now being realistic, its impossible.

anyway… i feel like hibernating these days.
hyun bin and song hye gyo is filming in singapore now. they filmed in chinatown yesterday, kaishi and me walked to chinatown to meet edwin. reminds me of one song…
擦肩而过 literally.
hyun bin~ snow queen~ omg
anyway they gonna be in sg for 2 weeks or so lah, see if im lucky enough hahahahaha.

am gonna sleep soon.
tired. and a little moody… dunno y either.
ahh i fell down 2 times last night because of the slippery floor. like damn unlucky. sigh. when shit happens, it always become a lao sai situation. it doesnt come alone.

im gonna enrol in the korean lessons by the singapore korean school.
and i wanna skip elementary one!!! rawr!!!
since i think my basic is there, i think i can make it tru the proficiency test… i hope.

oh anyway im learning hiragana now… writting down notes.
since japanese is gonna be the next language i will attack.

not too bad lah, i know how to write kame and kotori at least -_-

我会成功！
我会成功！
我要拼拼拼！！！
加油加油加油！

maybe i will hold on,
maybe i will wait on,
maybe i will stay on,
till the day i can no longer.

ps. heard X clamp is back in publish again. couldnt wait. but book 18.5 really killed me badly…

IT ENDED WITH FUUMA WANTING TO STAB KAMUI.
shit.

and with kamui saying…
即使伤害了想在的封真我也要把封真带回来。
so cool right…

damn im already waiting for 19 with such big heart now.
sigh.

win is bonus lose is experience.
and they will be back on monday, i am going to the airport for my wang yue gu! and feng tian wei and li jia wei lah. hehes they are our heroes i feel…
team singapore has a much more successful olympics den expected.
loves

i did something silly yesterday…
met edwin for dinner at mac. late dinner.
and 2 koreans were sitting beside us. LIKE LOL.
i actually snapped one photo ok will post it when im in a good mood. haha.
ok thats not the stupid thing.. after they left we followed.
and i shouted ANYEONG HASEYO! :X
and ed say one of them looked back ^^
i dont think they saw me, probably just saw ed. kekeke.

and freak, we kanna scare by the guard at china square.
dreamtalk till… kns. OIE us maybe like 3 times? nabeh!!!

just talked to charmaine shes safely in london now! feels so weird to think shes not coming back so soon sent me the photos and yes even photos of my eye candy~ his name is jacob. keke. char doesnt know his korean name either, sad.

i think it must be the k-blood in me.
oh well, yesterday i couldnt keep my eyes on you because i thought u’re not so korean-looking. but the aftermath is… today i couldnt keep you off my mind.

JUST KIDDING.

we all know i only think about a silly cow.

some people no matter what they say or do i dont feel a single thing.
some people the smallest thing they do sent my heart going doki doki.
whatever lah crap.

ill be patient and wait.
afterall…… u are a silly moo.

im pretty happy today actually. i dont know why either but just a little lighter today. ^^ m

charmaine is on the plane now, to frankurt and than to london.
and so last night kaishi and me went to terminal 3 to meet char, and joined by tony and germaine. it feels kinda funny.. the first time i came back from korea, it was at terminal 3 too. alot of memories just flew right back into my coconut brain. but the main thing was i didnt like seperations. and it feels kinda funny to know char’s gonna be gone for 3 years. of course she’ll be back for holidays, i told tony and myself that too. but its just different isnt it?
time flies.. we’ve known each other for like 7 years going 8. crazy times, happy times, sad times together.
anyway… i hope everything goes well for her

-friends-
this is for u goh kaishi.
was reading through my smses and i realised so many things over these few months. when i was down, confused, lost, crying, screaming… u were always there for me. without a single complain, listening to me and supporting me mentally.
u’re the one i can always crap with, talk with, argue with, fight with, laugh with, cry with. having you and peilin, the gvc group, edwin, tony, char, have been the best for me this life im sure. without u guys life would be so boring but i know just you specially, you’ve been the one giving me alot of motivation all these while.
surely.. im not as strong as i am on the surface. but thanks for always being there for me.
and u know like u once messaged me, me and peilin along with your family is ur assets. so u know.. i will always be here.
and if u shall fly to japan one day, i will fly over to korea and be neighbours with u!
and if u shall marry KK one day, i shall marry AJ just so as to company you!
and if u shall become a nun one day, i shall become a sister so as to go against u! (and i keep my hair!)
and u know that…
我们是彼此永远的反对党ok?
thank you for everything my angel
dont feel too mushy! wahahaha!

-bitch-
recently ive been a little on the patriotic side.. was talking to germaine last night, ah she just got singapore’s PR so now she has double nationality. i thought that was great!
ehs not to say im blabla or what.. im pretty proud of my singapore citizenship eh. even if i intend to further my life in korea, i dont think i will give up my sg citizenship. i know sg is small, we people are kiasu, kiasi and kialang… but i think we are a wonderful country. we appreciate what our players did for us and not like china. to them, 1 gold = achievement, silver and bronze is nothing but to us, we know silver or even bronze is an achievement.
and we dont scream at our lions to 下课 even though our soccer really sux to the core sometimes.
i know, i complain but i still support.
and i think korea will have this resident permit soon, sorta like a PR status, so that i get to keep my citizenship of sporean even if i move to kr for long term. hahahah!
ok in simple i can say,

i am proud to be a singaporean!
wondering why i say this? cause i see someone which made me kinda angry….

-bitch-
dang ye seo. korean name? yes. korean? no.
shes one of the players in the korea table tennis team, and ironically, shes chinese. from china, like li jia wei.
original name tang na.
i think its alright to play for another country since the competition in china made it almost harder den flying to reach the top.. just like li jia wei, feng tian wei, wang yue gu or li jie blablabla all those chinese whom are playing for other countries.. but what made me angry was.
she changed her name to dang ye seo. whats so wrong with keeping you own name even if u gain another country’s citizenship? if someone call 郝帅 can keep his name, or another call 杨维 can keep his name… why cant u? (really got players with such names ok!)
anyway… thats not the extreme.
after gaining korean citizenship, she tells the people. “韩国是我的祖国”. AKA, korea is my homeland.
girl, do u have any idea what is the meaning of homeland?

i know, i always wanna go to korea, learn korean. but i never thought of korea as my homeland, and i never thought about becoming 100% korean. i wanna gain citizenship there true but no way i will give up my name and call myself nam ji won for godness sake. limbu si nam yiwen.

i dunno why i feel so angry with her but i thought it was just stupid…..
why go to such extreme to hide your background?

yesterday.
li jia wei won, on to 4th round.
feng tian wei won, on to 4th round.
wang yue gu lost, but still im so proud of her.

kim kyung ah won, on to 4th round.
park mi young won, on to 4th round.
dang ye seo lost, sad because shes the most pretty actually :p

dont hv to mention china. i think we all know about them.
anyway… today wang nan is gonna play against park mi young. i hope park wins, do something to bring glory to korea!
if kim kyung ah wins today, and li jia wei wins, they will face each other next. i am scared -_-
if zhang yi ning wins, and feng tian wei wins, they will face each other next. i am not so scared since feng have won zhang before.
somehow, i hope and wish and pray singapore gets a 2nd medal, a gold of course is best. silver or bronze is good enough too. but whatever it is i think, team singapore did a wonderful job already.

im so proud of them
i asked ed to go airport with me fetch’em. i wanna take photo with feng tian wei! but hey, dont come back so soon ok?

off from olympics..
i think ive got a uniform fetish.
i was so addicted to mokomichi when i saw him in a sauna robe. LOL. wait is that an uniform? bleaghs…..

gonna sleep. goodnight world

but let me rant a little.
i think being in the china soccer team is a big stress. ive seen so many humiliating jokes against them, i wished… those fans can just go stand on the field themselves and win against brazil. maybe if they can do that, the china soccer team can too.

before u decide to put someone down, consider urself in that position and think if it’d turns out differently. because, u aint the one facing ronaldhino in front of a million crowd. china soccer true enough indeed is miles away from international standard but its not about the victories isnt it?

i support a team, i support a person. in any event lose or win, its just a result. its the process of seeing them do their best. dont say the china team didnt do their best, surely u aint in their shoes to consider if they did, are u? who doesnt wanna win a gold medal for their country? every team has its up and down. by cursing and cussing at liu xiang or li weifeng, or anyone else in that matter, do u think u are putting urself in a higher position? no, u are putting urself even lower.

if liu xiang ran, he’d be ruining himself, his career, his life.
at least he has the courage to back off despite knowing what he will have to face.
if the china soccer team didnt try their best, they can simply draw out of this tournament, why would they wanna disgrace themselves at home ground?
everyone on the field wants to win.
but there’d only be one material winner with the medal at the end.
however, everyone is a winner because they tried.

wang yue gu is my winner.

so tired now..
have to teach tomorrow liao
so damn sad can… tuesday again. sigh, time flies.
its a rainy day today.
i missed u, missed korea, missed ulsan today.

and fuck, its 19th again.

caught the match on the bus to east coast today..
and we’re like changing seats just because we wanna watch the score at a closer range, so damn funny. some china people sitting beside us and i shouted 支持中国就回你老家去！when they alighted, so shuang =p

after that rushed to c.nai to finished up the match.
ate the ee mee and french toast, im starting to be scared of french toast liao.

gotta sleep.
goodnight world
please let something good happen.
oh and i read the story about feng tianwei, li jiawei and wang yuegu on newspaper. so sad can, wang yuegu story made me cry. sobx.

yoo wonchul will be going on the man’s parallel bar final tomorrow! all the best!
phelps gotten his 8th medal and broke the world record! grats!
but…. so what =(